Therapy 101: Discovering the Power of the Noticing Self
In the journey of therapy, one of the most useful tools I've encountered is the concept of "The Noticing Self." This aspect of our consciousness acts as a gentle observer, capable of perceiving both the external world and the intricate landscapes within us. It's about directing our attention intentionally, choosing to observe what's present in a given moment. This simple yet profound skill can open doors to deep self-awareness and emotional growth.
Imagine yourself as a curious detective, armed with neutrality and a keen eye, exploring the happenings of your mind and emotions without judgment. This approach encourages a healthy detachment, allowing for emotional regulation and the surfacing of deeply buried feelings in those who might feel numb or disconnected.
Engaging with "The Noticing Self" involves asking yourself poignant questions like:
"How am I feeling right at this moment?"
"What sensations, thoughts, and emotions are currently present?"
"What's happening in my body right now?"
In the hustle of everyday life, where action, thought, and emotion whirl in a continuous dance, the practice of pausing to observe can be challenging. Yet, it's in this pause—this moment of asking, "What is present here?"—that we find a powerful tool for self-reflection and growth.
Therapy often serves as a structured space to connect with "The Noticing Self." It might begin with sharing the issues, emotions, or patterns you've noticed in your life that you wish to explore. This process of slowing down, within the safety of a therapeutic space, to articulate what's happening both externally and internally, is a fundamental step towards healing and understanding oneself.
If you want to explore more about the concept of the Noticing Self, here are a few beginning exercises to try out:
The Noticing Self: Engaging the 5 Senses
In moments when turning your focus inward becomes overwhelming—when your thoughts, feelings, and bodily sensations seem too intense—it can be incredibly beneficial to shift your attention outward. This practice of external awareness, engaging all 5 senses, can pave the way to a more profound state of mindfulness. It’s a great starting place for engaging the Noticing Self.
Begin by taking a deep breath in, then slowly exhale. Now, look around the room and identify three things you can see. Allow yourself to acknowledge them either out loud or silently. For instance, you might say, "I see a lamp, a green plant, and the tassels on a beige wall decoration." After engaging your sense of sight, move on to your sense of hearing. Listen carefully and name three things you hear. It could be anything from the gentle hum of a noise machine, the soft tap-tap of keys being pressed on a keyboard, to the steady ticking of a clock.
The sense of smell might be a bit more challenging to engage. If you're struggling to identify 3 scents in the air, you can simplify the task by smelling something close at hand, like lip balm or a piece of fruit, and take note of its aroma. Next, find three objects to feel—the uneven surface of your desk, the cool, sleek edge of a spoon, or the textured fabric of your carpet, for example. And lastly, concentrate on 5 things you can taste. This might require a sip of a drink or a small bite of food to fully engage your sense of taste.
By completing this exercise you've not only heightened your awareness of your surroundings through all five senses, but you've also honed your ability to direct your attention at will—a crucial skill for emotional regulation. Take a moment now to notice any changes in your body. Many people report feeling more grounded or centered after this exercise. Regardless of the outcome, the key takeaway is the strengthening of your 'noticing muscle,' a great activity for cultivating a mindful presence in your daily life.
The Noticing Self: Body Scan Exercise
The practice of a Body Scan is invites us to step back and observe our body without judgement recognizing sensations as they are in the present moment. Engaging in a body scan exercise serves a dual purpose: it strengthens our ability to focus and remain present, while also teaching us to listen deeply to our bodies. By methodically paying attention to each part of our body, we not only become aware of where we hold stress and tension but also learn the invaluable skill of observing without immediately reacting. This heightened awareness can lead to a profound understanding of how our bodies respond to stress, emotions, and daily activities, offering insights into our physical and emotional states.
Let's begin your body scan exercise by finding a comfortable position, either sitting or lying down, in a place where you can relax without falling asleep. Close your eyes gently, and take a few deep breaths, allowing your body to settle into this moment. Start by bringing your attention to the top of your head. Notice any sensations here—perhaps a feeling of lightness, tingling, or simply the air touching your skin. Slowly move your awareness down to your forehead, eyes, and cheeks, observing whatever you can notice there. If you encounter tightness, you can experiment with some gentle movement or attempt to relax that part of the body if it feels good. Do not worry if that doesn’t work. Your job is simply to be aware of what is happening inside your body, not to change it.
Continue guiding your attention down your body—through your neck, shoulders, arms, and hands. Take your time as you proceed, noticing the rise and fall of your chest with each breath, the sensation in your stomach, your back against the chair, bed, or floor. Notice your pelvic floor, glute muscles, and down through your hips, legs, and all the way to your feet and toes. If your mind wanders, gently bring it back to the part of the body you last remember focusing on.
Conclude your body scan by taking a few deep, refreshing breaths and, when you're ready, slowly opening your eyes.
The Noticing Self: Thoughts
A different way you can direct your Noticing Self is to observe your thoughts and feelings. What is your mind saying to you right now? If you pause for 1 minute, can you observe all of the thoughts that might rush through your head? Is it thinking 100 things at once so loudly you almost cannot keep up? Is it more simple, perhaps thinking “I’m hungry” or “I’m tired?”. Minds can say a lot or not much at all. You don’t have to judge or change whatever your thoughts are doing right now. The only task is to observe.
If you want to further this observation skill for your thoughts, imagine that each thought is being carried like a leaf floating downstream a stream. You, The Noticing Self, can watch a thought come and go as your mind brings them to you.
Bringing It All Together: Dropping Anchor
The Dropping Anchor exercise brings together all of the previous observation targets into one. This is a bit more advanced as you will use your Noticing Self to shift awareness between the outside environment, into the awareness of your body, and also towards your thoughts or emotions, and then back outside again. The shifting of awareness back and forth between internal and external targets builds up your psychological flexibility.
This exercise was originally developed by Russ Harris for Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. It can also be used to ground yourself as a coping resource when you are in an “emotional storm” just as an “anchor” would ground a ship as the storm passes. You can use this tool for coping, but it also works great for practicing the Noticing Self. Follow along with the 2 minutes or 8 minute audio if you’d like to try it out.
The Noticing Self in Everyday Life
If you have practiced using the Noticing Self through a few of these exercises, another way to continue with this skill is to use it casually in everyday life. Check in with yourself throughout the day and notice whatever is going on inside with some objective curiosity. “Here is my todo list scanning through my mind” or “I notice I’m rehearsing a conversation I’d like to have” or “Here is my inner critic telling me I’ve messed up again”. Simply observe whatever is happening inside. You can also observe your physical body throughout the day. Notice if your jaw feels tight, if you are holding your breath. Is there tension in your muscles, fatigue, or lots of energy lowing through? Just notice whatever is present and you will build up the skill of the Noticing Self.
Challenges with The Noticing Self
While increasing capacity to use The Noticing Self can be a useful tool for many, it isn’t helpful for everyone. You may find it to be too overwhelming to direct awareness to racing thoughts. Perhaps you have chronic pain and focusing attention on your body makes it more intense? Or maybe you have grief that rushes in if you focus attention towards it? This makes so much sense. If the Noticing Self exercises are too overwhelming or unhelpful for you, there’s absolutely not any pressure to do them. Remember, there are many paths to healing!