Understanding Religious Harm
There are many different ways people can be hurt in a religious setting, and it can feel overwhelming to make sense of it all. Trying to explain these experiences to someone who hasn’t been through it can be really hard, too.
The Four Quadrant Model is a tool for understanding the types of harm that can happen in religion. Finding words to describe what happened is an important part of healing—it brings clarity and helps you feel less alone. Knowing more about what happened can also empower you to identify and avoid harmful situations in the future.
Quadrants 1 and 2 (Interpersonal and Intrapersonal) describe harms that occur on a personal level, either between two people or within a person’s relationship with themselves. Quadrants 3 and 4 (Ideological and Social Control) address harms on a larger, systemic scale.
INTERPERSONAL HARM
Interpersonal harm happens between two people in a religious setting, usually when one person has more power or authority. This could be a pastor and a church member, a teacher and a student, or even a parent and child. Sometimes the power dynamic is less obvious, like when someone claims that God wants them to control another person’s life.
Spiritual Abuse
Spiritual abuse happens when someone uses their position to control or manipulate another person, claiming it’s what God wants. For example, a church leader might pressure someone to give money, saying things like, “God is asking you to show your commitment through financial sacrifice.” This makes the person feel like they don’t really have a choice even if they have other financial needs to consider. Another example is when someone in a religious role forces their beliefs on others. A youth pastor telling a teenage girl that her body is a sinful temptation, is using their authority to influence her beliefs about herself.
Marital Abuse
Marital abuse can also happen in religious settings. Some religious groups teach that men have authority over women, which can lead to unfair treatment and abuse. In some cases, religious teachings are used to pressure a spouse into sexual activity by making them feel guilty or afraid. Religious communities that shame divorce can make it hard for victims to leave abusive marriages and perpetuate abusive dynamics.
Sexual Abuse
Sexual abuse in religious contexts can be especially painful because people expect religious settings to be safe. Survivors often feel confused, guilty, or spiritually disconnected. Sometimes religious institutions try to protect their reputation by denying the abuse, blaming the victim, or minimizing accountability for church leaders. This can make the recovery process complex because harm occurs on many different levels, all by people claiming to be representatives of God.
INTRAPERSONAL HARM
Intrapersonal harm affects a person’s inner world—like their thoughts, feelings, and beliefs.
Psychological Splitting and Identity Suppression
Some high control religions encourage people to think of themselves as split between a “bad, sinful identity” and a “good, religious identity.” This high pressured way of related to one’s inner thoughts and feelings leads to a painful cycle of guilt and shame. Over time, it can take a serious toll on self-esteem, leaving someone feeling like they’re never good enough. In some cases, people end up hiding or suppressing their true selves just to meet the strict expectations of their religion, losing touch with who they really are.
Faith Crisis, Deconstruction, & Deconversion
A faith crisis happens when someone starts questioning their religious beliefs. Deconstruction is when they rethink or break down their beliefs, and deconversion is when they leave their religion altogether. These changes can be emotionally difficult, especially if the person’s religious community discourages questioning or leaving. It can feel scary to question long-held beliefs, and the journey can be isolating and painful.
IDEOLOGICAL HARM
Ideological harm comes from harmful teachings or doctrines in high-control religious groups.
Shame-Based Teaching
Shame-based teachings tell people that they are bad or flawed. For example, the idea of original sin teaches that humans are sinful from birth. A person’s primary self concept becomes connected to the message “I am bad.” which creates lasting, impactful deficits in self esteem, self compassion, and inner peace.
Shame based if their sexuality or gender identity doesn’t match what the religion teaches is “good.” Purity culture is one example, which promotes the idea that sex should only happen between a married man and woman. LGBTQ individuals are often harmed by non-affirming religious teachings that make them feel broken or wrong.
Fear-Based Teaching
Fear-based teachings tell people that they are not safe. Examples include teachings about hell, Satan, demons, and the threat of divine punishment. People raised in these teachings are often on high alert, constantly worried about spiritual dangers. Another example is end-times theology, which teaches that the world is about to end and that people will be punished by God.
Fear-based ideologies also warn people to stay away from outsiders—like friends, family, or culture not connected to the religious group. These teachings create an “us versus them” mindset, making outsiders seem dangerous or evil.
Authoritarian Teaching
Authoritarian teachings focus on strict rules, control, and unquestionable authority. These religious groups claim to have the ultimate truth, and followers are expected to obey leaders or texts without question. This type of teaching leaves little room for personal freedom or critical thinking.
SOCIAL CONTROL
Social control involves the hidden ways religious groups influence or control people’s lives.
BITE Model of Authoritarian Control
Steven Hassan developed the BITE Model© to describe how cults or high-control groups keep their members in line. “BITE” stands for Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotion control:
Behavior- Groups control members’ actions through strict rules about food, clothing, finances, work, friendship, life goals, rituals, etc. Many elements of a person’s everyday life are dictated by the group.
Information- Groups control the flow of information by censoring outside ideas and spreading propaganda.
Thought- Groups shape members’ beliefs and attitudes, suppressing critical thinking.
Emotion- Groups manipulate emotions, using guilt, fear, and love to foster loyalty and dependence.
(Descriptions from https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model-pdf-download/)
Recruitment and Maintenance
High-control groups use specific tactics to recruit and keep members:
Phase 1 New recruits are showered with love and attention (called love-bombing), making them feel special and valued. The group may use emotional or spiritual practices to disconnect the recruit from logic and make them more vulnerable.
Phase 2 The group pressures the recruit to make a public commitment to their beliefs, often claiming it will save them or the world.
Phase 3 Recruits become more and more involved, giving up their time and resources to the group. They are also encouraged to recruit others.
Summary
The four areas of religious harm often happen together. While it’s possible to experience just one, most people deal with more than one at the same time. For example, someone might be taught by a religious leader in a power dynamic (interpersonal). The teachings may include shame or fear-based ideas (ideology) that hurt their sense of self (intrapersonal). All of this happens within a larger group (social control) where the pressure is to accept the group’s beliefs, or face serious consequences.
The Four Quadrant Model helps us understand the different kinds of religious harm, but it’s not perfect. Like a map, it can always be improved. I encourage you to think about what parts of the model match your experience and what you might challenge or change. After all, you are the expert on your own life, and no one else can define your experiences for you.